This year has probably been the most the most difficult, humbling refining, and fulfilling year of my entire life.
When I say fulfilling, I do not actually mean I have been content or satisfied all year. In fact, there have been many seasons of discontent and constant hunger.
But somewhere, in all the failure, the searching and the discontent, I have been fulfilled because I sought. Everything I strived for was worth working toward even if I never saw it come to fruition like I thought it should. At least I put up a fight. And that fight has made me a stronger person whom I have never known before.
Yes, I grew up in a Christian home with godly parents, but...
My eyes have been opened to so many things, both good and bad. Many I have never had to face before but it has forced me to not just know my convictions, but to stand up on them in my actions as well.
Most significantly, God has begun to reveal just how significant we are as humans. He has given us an abundant source of magnificent power!! Yet there is such a scarcity of His followers that live life with this understanding on a daily basis! We have not truly lived! We do not fully know God if we do not know and see His power dominate our lives! YES, it will be tangible! Yes, it will change the way you live and every life you touch!
This discovery is so timely as I prepare to go on The World Race. Living in a tent for a year, on a mat, on $3 of food a day in poverty stricken countries where I am susceptible to all kinds of risky situations sounds illogical for a girl like me– the youngest child from a tight knit family living in a great neighborhood who likes her nice clothes and pretty accessories.
I have motivation to make something of myself... graduate school, entrepreneurship, and becoming a professor.
But I first have motivation to make something of myself: to be a woman of God (as He defines it), a servant, a life-changer; a sister, mother, and friend to those who live without. I want my hand to be the one an orphan holds. I want to embrace the prostitute who has forgotten her worth as she's sold every 30 minutes. I want them to know [they. are. loved.] because no one has ever told them so.
My wounds, healed by Christ, have made me strong enough to bring healing to those looking for the Healer.
My comfortable bed, nice clothes, and fine jewelry aren't worth keeping if it costs me the real life I was made for.
So here's to 2010: the year that dam finally breaks and God's power gushes out through my life. The year I joyfully walk away from the stuff I used to care about.