Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Graciously.

So often I find myself singing Chris McClarney's "Your Love is Everything"



Ah, love it. <3

As you have or will hear, there is this one line that always stops me in my tracks:
"I will not forget, I won't forget Your promises."


Let me just be straight with all you blogosphere folks: I have been seeking after God, the Father of Jesus Christ my Savior for the vast majority of my life. Yet, I am CONSTANTLY forgetting God's promises! It's terrible. But such evidence that I live fully by God's constant grace. This ain't religion, that's for sure... if that were the case, I would've stopped messin' with this stuff a looong time ago!

Anyway, all that said because I'm trying to remind myself of God's promises more & more lately in hopes of strengthening my constant doubting and distrust of God's character.

Romans 8:32 will forever astound me.
"He who did not spare his own son, but gave him up for us all- how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?"


AH! So often I freak out about not having a paycheck, not knowing my life plan, not being like this person or having a relationship with that person or that I should have it all together like everybody expects!
So funny how we put such expectations on each other though we ourselves have not fully attained it and never will.

I put my hope & weight on all the things that are not promising; not faithful; UNcertain. As though they are so valuable compared to what I have already been given!

God. Gave His Son-the BEST THING HE COULD POSSIBLY GIVE!- for me. The God of heaven gave Him up for an unfaithful, selfish, prideful, stubborn, stupid, sinful, forgetful, idolater of a girl!

AAANNNND!

He's ready to throw in my every need on top of it.
WHY?!?!!?!!!?!!!??!
Oh, ya know... just cuz He loves me.
He loves me even though I forget him every day.

He loves me even though I constantly insist on having my own way.

He loves me even when I yell at Him in anger.

He loves me through all my whining.

He loves me even when I blame Him for my problems.

He loves me when I don't actually trust Him to deliver.

He loves me... though I shove these doubts, anger, and distrust in His face on a daily basis.

Now that is love.
That is the love all of our hearts search for.
It's so obvious... Just look at the love songs we write.
Hopeful longings for love to be fulfilled.
Aching wounds from short-lived love.
Always searching; wondering, who will love me for who I am, flaws and all?

Our hearts are calling out to the One who first gave us a heartbeat. We were made to love Him. We were made to be loved by Him.

Graciously, God loves. He has no reason to love us at all, but He loves us graciously to top it all off!

Graciously: showing divine grace- unmerited favor with no price tag, no hidden fees.

Wow. That will astound me the rest of my life & forevermore. Grace.